this love thing

sigh...
i fucked up. badly
i feel horrible on the inside.
im a sane monster
but still trying to love
i try to express myself but end up fucking up people mentally with my confusion
i will ask for help but i don't think no one can help me
so i write poetry so someone can try to understand me
I'm blind when it comes to true love thats my weakness
im a witness when it comes to tears i caused which i try to fix and end up caring to much
karma is hunting me i can feel it in my gut
my elders says that love will block me from my true meaning in life
so i curve ball my love so i can protect me the most
selfish yea i know
but throughout my whole life i'll only have myself
there's no second guessing about that
so i would rather be safe then sorry in the end
idk maybe this love thing is just a fake feeling.