shit on MY brain.

and i am still alive.
life is just continuously changing in sooo many ways, new ppl coming in, ... and i guess old people who i NEVER thought was going to leave did... consciously or unconsciously i don't know... but it does sucks like majorly., but i don't know what else to do... what else to say... don't know how many times i called like lol... whenever i do he is either busy or not there or mom is on the phone or he picks up and says he'll call back but never does... don't know if hes ignoring me or busy, so many questions to be answered so many wholes in my heart that still hasn't been filled including this brand new one, ... but what can i say?, what do i do?, keep trying or just forget and leave? i really don't want to though that's why its so hard to make a decision .... is our book finished????