yea., 2010 . haha what a ride this shall be .
anywayyysssss, watching family guy purposely for the first time.
im slowly starting to like it.

its just me and my piano bench.
:) i sit on it and fucking magic happens .

here we gooo.

2010., hm.
more problems. -_-.
less peace.
hopefully shit will change.

.. . .,... masdasndajsdasbdsdbaskjda...

...... i don't know what to say about this.

koo shit.

http://theillchildren.blogspot.com/
check it ouuutt, or else you'll die!!!!

12-25-09; activity Day

hahahaha i was ridin' high

12-25-09; Main Gifts.

thankful man.

just some random pics. I HAVE TO GET BETTER!!!

check it out.

AVATAR! , very very very dope. , the 3D shit isn't anything to rave about though, it actually made my eyes hurt lowkezie, but anyways its so much in the movie that i loved. ummm just know that the people aren't Avatars...i forgot there names (-_-) but lol chea, the people are representatives of a tribe in Africa called the Maasai, there very tall and slender and they make beautiful jewelry and usually have weapons on them all the time (spears and stuff), they drink cow blood because they believe it makes there body strong and warmer. But i believe there one of the oldest tribes in Africa. But um in the movie the people pretty much look like the Maasai's but they were blue and had like dark blue zebra patterns. The movie is really 'deep' and it had some type of... hold on me when i left the movie theater and still to this day. so CHEA , check it out.

Avatar- a manifestation of a deity or released soul in bodily form on earth.
Deity- a god or goddess

12-24-09

hmm, plan for toddaaaayyyyyyyy.
cook, cook, begin iagain on my story, write, and work on my photography!!!, got super inspired by some old family photos i found in the closet :). I will post them over time , some tonight probably.

hm., maybe he got the message... if not then well i guess it was a faze.
but im glad to have him back :).

:/

i wish i could find a way to bring our friendship back together again.
no lust mix with it.., just pure friendship...
but as i try to talk to u ., u simply do nothing ... except noticeably put no effort into a conversation that could've bloomed from my one sentence that i sent u .
our flower is dying and im trying to save it... save us..
but u are distracted by other fake flowers with there artificial sent ..., and im ... we ... are dying.

.. i don't feel complete without u in your bed comfortable in your home in my heart.,
u disappeared ... im still walking but im limping.

UNDER CONSTRUCTION!!

blog is under construction ... for a while.

..lmao

WTF!

im soooo mad that myspace bought imeem!, i don't have NONE OF MY SONGS THAT I FUCKING LOVE!
OMFG, ........ this is some real BULLSHIT!.
all my underground 'peeps' i can't find them because there not fucking MAINSTREAM!
wow. , sigh, breathe in ... breathe out.

ex-SITE-ment

:), im back.
Friday was my LAST DAY OF SCHOOL!, to happy man i have 3 weeks to refresh and do some shit i've been trying to do, i can start painting again and get my jewelry game going again, do my music on piano my goal is to to finish Nardis by Bill Evans and a few songs, work on my photography a bit and shit so cheaaa , im excited :), everything is going to begin tomorrow Monday 12-21-09, why? because thats to me the real first day of my winter break cause im not going to skizol.

yep.

hmmm, life, i guess u can say its becoming more and more ... .. . difficult, cause with joy there is problems, and with problems there's confusion, i've been use to confusion for a while now, so i guess its eating my heart up., but its all good., one day things will be ok and my PERSONAL problems, will one day not exist, but until that day i remain enslaved under confusion, but i do find joy in this lust that im trying to fulfill i call it 'love' truly i don't believe in it anymore lowkey, so im trying to create another title for it., but, chea chea that feeling in certain quick moments or seconds brings joy... and hope into my heart , then it quickly goes away and confusion seeks in me. Sad story? , no i just call it sanity.

CAN'T WAIT.... but i have to.

hm, so obviously i decided not to change my um layout on blogspot.

but anyways, todayyyyyyyy 12-14-09, the only thing i was able to think about all day was the last day of school (Friday), omg, im so excited!, i can stay up late don't got to wake up at 5 no more for a while, PAINT SOME MORE!!!, (HOPEFULLY MY MOM GIVES ME A CANVAS , HA MAYBE ONE OR TWO... OR FIFTEEN) , but yea, i can possibly see some of my amigos and chill and what not., so chea chea., hopefully everything goes as i plan for my winter break.

hm, don't know where to start.

haven't blogged lately.
so here i am, got motivated to blog again by hoe man myles.
ummm... hm, where should i start.
so much has changed since 11-14-09.
i guess ... i will start refreshing by changing my blog layout :D.

"Wisdom is not expressible. Wisdom when a wise man trues to express it, always sounds like foolishness."
-Siddhartha

11-14-09

so yesterday it was my god grandmother's birthday party... it was very very very fun. I met a lot of cool people i met AJ who use to be on BET (who is fine as hell!) and i met the lady from WEEDS that shows on HBO and i met Andre Leon Tally who i pretty much spoke to throughout the whole party. I didn't know that was him until today actually so i looked him up and he's well accomplished. Me and his friend had a good time we were talking about everything and laughing and shit lol. but then it got fucked up right when i was about to go to bed smh. but its all good me guess. thats life, right?

Warmth of the Sun - Beach Boys (they probably stole this song.)

What good is the dawn
That grows into day
The sunset at night
Or living this way

For I have the warmth of the sun
(Warmth of the sun)
Within me at night
(Within me at night)

The love of my life
She left me one day
I cried when she said
"I don't feel the same way"

Still I have the warmth of the sun
(Warmth of the sun)
Within me tonight
(Within me tonight)

I'll dream of her arms
And though they're not real
It's like she's still there
The way that I feel

My love's like the warmth of the sun
(Warmth of the sun)
It won't ever die
(It won't ever die)

beautiful lyrics.:)

numb=safe

i feel nothing anymore.

and its me.

and its spoken.

There's no future only present.
Love is just a fairy tale that children wish upon on.
People are representatives of ignorance, blind and deaf.
Nature and Animals are our best friends that we take for granted.

Fucking Fuck

... i cannot find this song that i like so much!.

,,,horny vampires.
lmao OHKAY

no tittle.

im reaching and reaching and reaching, reaching, reaching, reaching, reaching, reaching and reaching and no one is grabbing my hand so am i insane am i really a man
but i checked down below and seen nothing hanging low
except my heart that people step on
so imma continue riding on my copper bike dedicating my life to drive bys with acid water that squirts out my water gun

... and im done lol.. im distracted with this movie called 'Trick or Treat'.

Asha vs. Karren in thumb war . . . during Spanish class

on the plane going to New York

oh and in have that mask on to protect me from just ERVERY THANG lol.
and i cut my hair. i don't know if u can notice... but chea, its not a big deal.. people who knew the length of my hair would notice but not others.

tired.

Airport tomorrow at 12.
got my shit pack.. probably gonna leave something i need behind though. (That always happen)

different eyes, in 3 steps

1.

2.

3.


same pic, different interpretation

interesting

,mm, i never missed someone like this for a loonnng time., don't know if thats a good thing or bad thing, but w.e.
i guess it really takes someone to step out of your book (life) for a day or months or years , decades, w.e for you to really realize how much that person means to you.
i mean like if your whole day is just OFF because you haven't talked to your 'person' then i would think it means that..,
u really care...
"love" that person.

\and im ouuuttt

p.s.,
im raw, like organic trail mixes at whole foods... bitch.

p.s.(x2),
and im upside down..... peace

people,really?

omg man.... and they ask me why the FUCK i don't eat meat. i meant thats fucking ridiculous! OMG!!!!!those fuckers!, how dare they treat those calves like that THE FUCK!, if i see them EVER walking down the street its going to be a automatic beat DOWN. Just because we are 'higher' organisms to all the other ones out in OUR fucking world, we shouldn't just treat them like SHIT cause we can. There like our ancestors if you really think about it.

&&&& FUCK MONSANTO, there all a bunch of LIES, bullying the real farmers who are trying to do shit right. and FUCK FARM FACTORIES, like who would wanna serve almost everyone false food?whats the purpose? money?, smh..i have nothing else to say.

horrible saturday night!.

blah la ta da, its freaking saturday night and im bored as all hell!, there isn't nothing on tv (idiot box) and ... my bestfriend is on punishment (don't know how that randomly happened) so i don't really have anyone to chat with... like i do but ., its to late to call and i don't feel like aiming ppl and ish. SOOOO .... i guess im assed out in some sort..fyi i think its time for a powerful, everlasting revolution cause i was like thinking last night around 3 a.m on just w.e really popped up in my head and i came to a conclusion that everything is all FUCKED UP. <-(Period)

"i was feeling insecure.
you may not love me anymore."
-john lennon

the more real u get the more unreal it gets.
and real is a mutha fucka.
but there is always someone who is by your side who doesn't understand shit your saying.
life has no definition.

shit on MY brain.

and i am still alive.
life is just continuously changing in sooo many ways, new ppl coming in, ... and i guess old people who i NEVER thought was going to leave did... consciously or unconsciously i don't know... but it does sucks like majorly., but i don't know what else to do... what else to say... don't know how many times i called like lol... whenever i do he is either busy or not there or mom is on the phone or he picks up and says he'll call back but never does... don't know if hes ignoring me or busy, so many questions to be answered so many wholes in my heart that still hasn't been filled including this brand new one, ... but what can i say?, what do i do?, keep trying or just forget and leave? i really don't want to though that's why its so hard to make a decision .... is our book finished????

and that's how it is.

as days are continuing to go by i notice how things are literally changing, growing apart, becoming less and less transparent. it frustrates me to know that its really just me in this world who sees situations differently. im really done caring. I've notice that its a waste of time caring over someone, (people in genera)l. If you don't care about shit then your all good no heart aches or stress or just extra UNWANTED things laying on your shoulders. Time and time i put myself out there and it ends up becoming a dead alley when it could have became a long ass street (lol)., so its all good i guess, but to sum everything up in this post im pretty much saying i slowly became heartless.

video games?

mannn, ashton got me hooked on these facebook games >:o lol, i don't even have a facebook im always on his playing those gameessss, i feel like a lil toddler i now sometimes put the game in front of my homework lol. but i usually still get it done :).

blah blah blah

grrr... i've been lazy lately, not really lazy but just pushing shit aside, important things. BUT NOW ITS TIME TO WAKE UPPP., so today me,jovanna,glenn,baby glenn,janee,jovanna mom, and glenn sister are going to the PUMPKIN PATCH (woo hoo), then after were all probably going to grab something to much on, then when im come bacckkk im going to research EVERYTHING that i've been meaning to look up on :).

today, i am officially broken.

why is his picture a bit on the sus side. lol.

i like his neckless though

wizoah.

...these dudes.
"jerking', like WOAH, i never knew nor guessed it would became a 'trend'
like ..... gee lol.
its amazing how the shit blew up.


lmao!!!! im probably late on this video. lol

blah blah blah.
tomorrow is friday!!!!!:)

False Abstract Love.

flower=harmless
so i decided to trust it
love it
lust for it
drink its nectar
we became close
lovers bound together..never thought of separating
then things changed
the whether became gloomy
u grew
your new beautiful colors attracted me
your new love hit me in so many ways
abstract is what i would call u
you would blindly transfer energy in my soul making me lift higher than space so now i was in someone else world with no passport
love ... is what you filled my empty class with
but slowly my life started vibrating, everything started changing once you unnoticeably decided to step out my door
i tried to touch you ..but your petals... grew thorns.

curse NERD GAME!

smh lol i got hooked on N*E*R*D gammeee, my eyes burn and shit lol. i made a cool beat though.

check it izout.(link is bellow this)
http://www.n-e-r-d.com/game/game.html?p=2

Alley Party (Not Edit)

soo the crossroad alley party was pretty cool. IT WAS FREE FOOOD. lol it was yummy, i had like 5 pieces of sushi, but besides that it was pretty cool my cousins Amara and Jerzey seen a few of there old friends and me Chris,Jovanna&Glenn (that's the picture of those 2 hoe boes above me) and another Chris was just chilling doing arts&crafts. There were cool rock bands they were pretty delightful in my ears and they played all the jazz i listened to so it was joyful having a small musical in my mind lol. and CHEA CHEA thats it. oh then hours after the Alley Party, we went to Pink Tacos to go munch munch on some mexicana food.

“I am not a Marxist.”
-Karl Marx

"shrimp dick, bb balls"
-Asian Chick on Crank 2

grr!

i don't know where to start!, i have so much i want to post!!!! and each day i don't post something more stuff builds on top!

YES MY INTERNET IS WORKING!!!1

yep yep.

mann, so i have like sooo many pictures!, but this picture uploading shit wants to be whack!, so that's that and yea i've been on my poetry a looot lately, lots of stuff has been happening rapidly from 'emotions' to different thoughts about various things like 'friendship',family, death, and heaven, and myself, and 'reality' and people just in general so that's that...., i'll probably post one poem tonight don't know, sooo... yea.., ADIOS!<- HA SPANISH!

.......my cousin rap (it took an hour to write)

Jerzey Dean
9-27-09
My Flow
INTRO: 1,2,3 into the 4 J-Dizzle da Shizzle and sophie V. are at ya door

So Im watching South Park and I have a sword
Its very very dark and Im really bored

Ralph don't believe I'm good at writing flows
i was like YO RALPH I thought you were my bro

NEW SUBJECT! Everyone knows who I like right?! And you also know who Ill be with tonight

Im kickin my flow like there's no tomorrow
And hell nah! I don't feel any sorrow

Well now Im done rapping and i know youre happy SHEASH
but guess what? You'll never be an OG like me!

J-DIZZLE IN
DA
HIZZLE
MI
NIZZLE!

...WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK IS THAT SHIT! LMAO, SHE THINKS SHE'S THE NEXT KANYE...., jump off a bridge, immediately. love you jay :) stupid hoe boe sucking on my toe.

life in a day.

man.., soo this week was just a stressful week. I mean from school, to my parents on my head bout some dumb shit, wanting love, some personal shit, just... everything wasnt good at all, i had an emotional breakdown, i just wanted to be gone disappear out of people lives by ending mines. But umm friday (yesterday) it worsen, my mom and step father was getting on my head bout some damn key that i lost and i was stressed out cause i had 4 tests that day and i just walked out the house crying, sad on the bus listening to my music people asking if im ok and shit (Started to get annoying) then i went to cafe aroma to meet ashton and he was all concerned and i finally just kinda broke down crying at the gas station so we were walking to school and i was whatever then around mm... 4th period in geometry class i started feeling better cause something came randomly, so me and ashton is at the school library happy and stuff so my day started to look better, then my tests weren't that hard except SPANISH! that dum shit smh i so cheated lol, so by this time (12:30 or so) im pretty straight, not crying and im some sort laughing and im just like damn if i don't find this damn key my parents are gonna be mad and i don't feel like hearing there shit so i went to the dean office and asked if someone turned in a key and with a leather holder and she said yea! so me and ashton are happy and some sort suprised and then she was like i might have thrown it out... so in my head im like wtf, you threw out somebody key like wtf .... it was sus to me, so im like excited and lowkey mad so anyways 15 minutes in the office was some sort a waste of time, and me and ashton went to uhh tomato pie got a slice of pizza and went to his dad car, he was kinda mad cause i didn't call him and tell him we were at the dean and stuff (that was my bad) so the he dropped me off and Ronald was sleep (my step dad) so im lowkey tryna tip toe to my room so he won't wake up and i was like thats dumb cause he lives with us so its pointless, soooo pretty much i said i couldn't find the key and gave me a lecture and that was that (Wasn't as bad as i thought it was gonna be) then my grandfather wanted me to come up to his home which i did and he was like so guess where were going tonight and i was like where and he was like to go see your favorite pianist and i was like noooo AHMAD JAMAL! and he was like yea so i got suppa excited and went downstairs charged my camera and got dress met him in person! omg my face was red lol i was able to feel the blood in my cheeks lol it was amazing he is amazing man. and yea that was my day (yesterday)

!!!AHHHHH!!!!

OMFG! Q-TIP ALBUM CAME OUT TODAY AND I DON'T HAVE IT!!!
FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!!! SHOOT ME!

GRRRR!

sigh can someone send me this song if they have it.
i forgot all about it , i use to listen to it all the time last year then idk what happened. lol .

bummer man.

sooooo i have this acid shit in my stomach and it might get super serious and eat my stomach lining .... then my kidney etc etc..... and i don't know how to prevent it.

McDonalds NEEDS TO DIE!

McDonalds!!!! in New York.
wow, McDonalds is FUCKING GROSS! like what the Fucking Fuck
shit taste nasty GESH.

mystery art/postings

i fount another one!
does anyone know who post them up!, i wanna help.
but meanwhile, STOP and remember peace should always be in your consciousness and a better sight of life you will seek.

'its' not so perspicuous anymore.

we are disconnecting... each day, each second, each moment we grow further and further apart i am losing my mind, my thoughts, my love is fading loneliness is rapidly becoming transparent, im running away can some one catch me? im dying ... can someone help me? i am a rose with nectar dripping out of my petal can the right bee for my nectar sting me? im changing physically, mentally, continuously and it seems like no one is there with me, their either ahead of me or behind me, but not beside me... i refuse to say no one is out there for me... but as each day, each second, each moment of this time goes by im a zombie; Asha the dead walking human being.

yellow jacket

i want a bee to land on my flower
some day...

But i took this picture in New Jersey there's a lot of bees out there most of my cousins were chicken nuts but obviously i wasn't. I think bees are little insects with a lot of character maybe paranoid a bit.

It seems like the bee life is cool all they have to do is fly around and have sex with flowers! have 2sums at that! like woah what a life right?, but there paranoid when it comes to humans! there the first to attack you and when they do they die! then the word gets around the bee hive that the pimp bee died because of a human and now bees are the first to attack people trying to save themselves then they die, and the word is going to keep going around and in a minute its simply going to be a bee and human war.

woop woop

school started yesterday. lol, more 'important' classes so more learning.
lalala, i have a doctor appointment today so i won't be at school till like 11 something :/ which is a bummer because its the 2nd day of school but whatevea.

MAN!

WHY is N.E.R.D PERFORMING tomorrow in NEW YORK not in L.A ... NEW YORK smh i don't think i'll ever see them perform :/.

AND I CAN SING HIIIIGGGHHHH-IIIIHHHHH

lmao!!!! funny shiznits! <- (shit)

Original song from Guns N' Roses

Its Amazing

yay it seems like i might be going back to New York with my grandfather :)
I'm traveling so much, I'm so bless, I'm going to Florida and New York in December close to Christmas, then my God Grandma proposed to me and my cousin(s)this traveling program called Rustic Pathways and me and my cousin(s) are able to go to any country that's provided for us to go to, we can go to China or India or AFRICA!!! and I'm able to go twice because they probably don't wanna go to Africa and I do so that's happening during my 1st month of my 2010 summer, also I'm going to Europe and I'll be visiting London, Paris, Rome, and Greece which is happening in August 2010. SO I'm going to be a traveling lady and I'm SUPER excited, i can't wait to see all the different tribes and cultures and take pictures and meet different people :).

:)

Stolen Moments - Oliver Nelson

ASHA all capitals, no trick spelling.

The Awakening

Ahmad Jamal man, this is one of my favorite albums by him. I would really love to see him in concert!, he's my favorite pianist sigh one of his best song is "I Love Music" which is on the Awakening, peep it out peep it out.

New York :)

this is going to be my new home! i love it out there omg, there's so many different people all smashed together doing their own thing, the vibe is great man.. i love it.

THERE BACK!

WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK!
LMAO!
WHY???

smh i already miss him.
ain't that some shit., but oh well i guess. ....

Asha . . . . and that's it. forever.
so fuck everyone else.

the hell!

sigh.. i hate when i feel bad for telling the truth.
but i shouldn't like what the hell.
why would u not want to hear something that's true... and then when the opportunity comes to make it true u don't wanna make it true!.
its really irritating.
and then i feel bad cause i know i made u mad.
smh, bull shit BRO.

Sondre Lerche- Days That Are Over

These lyrics are personally understanding and dope like soap. lol

One hundred thousand cars
have passed this house
The celebration starts with laughter

Can it be that we're not clean?
The days have turned to haze
Tell me how we should have lied
to keep away this space
To keep from snowing in
Keep from lingering
Keep our worlds apart

When it come to letting go
Let the quicksand flow
When I write it in the sand
There is something wrong

Days that are over
Will not continue to last
If you try to construct the past

I leave the heat on to leave a trace
of all the things the air was filled with

All the words I never knew and
all the words I know
Now they all come out too
late for you to realize
Satisfy my luck
This director's cut
doesn't spare an inch

I have never seen this place
and no surrounding walls
As the party turns to dust
they all understand

Days that are over
Will not continue to last
If you try to construct the past

lol

Peace is what we wish
Love is what we seek
Hope is what we have
Lust is guaranteed
Asha is what we need.
BITCH!

NEW YORK PIZZA!!!

so at first i really didn't know what all the hype was about when it came to New York Pizza. BUT NOW I DO!! omg!, i had some vegetarian pizza and a cheese pizza! BIZOMB!!!! like the sauce with the vegies... ppsshhh , it was really good man. i can't even really explain it, like the crust was even good. it was just great.

NOT A MUSICAL PLAY!!!

Today im going to another play, don't know what its called but its suppose to be pretty cool. Its going to be a lot of water involved and thats like really all i know. Of course I'll be taking pictures and post them up when i get back to LA. :)
and this show IS NOT A MUSICAL!!!!

soo yesterday i went to Shrek play on Broadway, and it was pretty cool
I got quite annoyed though because it was like a lot of freaking songs,
but whatever it was a musical so that's what i expected.
I have to give it up though the guy who played Donkey was GREAT!
i went backstage and he wasn't there :/ so one day WE SHALL MEET!.

plan for today.

#1- eat breakfast! (which i already did i had broccoli mixed with onions, a hash brown &grapes)
#2- play ping pong with my cousins (already did that and won one game out of 2) then watched Jovanna lose to Amara in pool, then it was my turn to beat Jovanna in pool which was a success
#3- took some more pictures around the house(did that)
#4- read my book (i did that)
#5- take more pictures
#5- try to web cam anyone who feels like being in my digital presence
#6- Go see Shrek on Broadway (not really excited, can't wait to see Wicked though!)
#7- web cam some more i guess, ooor play games all night
#8- ... idk. do something until i fall asleep.

hehe.

lol, my new shirt style.
a lil choke shirt.
my customer likes it lol.
hehehe diandra :)

lmao.
http://www.residueisevil.com/
go to it.

doesn't this look like shit coming out my mouth?
cool pic though, and i like it.

go to 3:22

WOO WOO Daddy Long Stroke
lol i love that part! omg, i say that shit ALL DAY!
someone should sample that and put it at the end or beginning of their song. (just an idea)

yoooo.

helllo everyone im in New York!!!! :-D, its super fun over hereeee , can't show pics though cause i forgot my freaking usb camera cord! but when i get back home (Next Wednesday) i'll upload EVERYTHING!

read my palm.
what does it say?

ooh yeaahh.

haahaha i got the lead sheet for this song!! :D

might work on it idk. if not this song then probably "Anthropology" by Dizzy Gillespie

Isaiah Zagar

This is one good reason why i wanna visit South Philadelphia for an artistic reason, and that is to simply to see his art shown above. There's a movie on HBO called "In A Dream", its really interesting, you should check it out. And his last name is dope to me I like how its spelled and how it sounds like. lol.

Blue Girl - Q-Tip

Kamaal the Abstract is finally coming out either September 14th or September 15,2009!